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When it’s family...
You forgive them for they know not what they do. When it’s family, you accept them cause you have no choice but to. When it’s family, they’re a mirror of the worse and best in you. And they always put you to the test, and you always try to do your best. And just pray for God to do the rest when it’s family. Some are preachers, some are gay. Some are addicts, drunks and strays. But not a one is turned away when it’s family. Some are lucky, others ain’t. Winners, losers, sinners, saints. It’s all family. And when it’s family, you trust them and your heart’s an open door. When it’s family, you tolerate what you’d kill others for. When it’s family, you love and hate and take then give some more. Somehow you justify mistakes, try to find some better way to solve the problems day to day in the family. You take the trouble as it comes, and love them more than anyone. Good or bad or indifferent, it’s still family. You choose your lovers, you pick your friends. Not the family that you’re in, nah. They’ll be with you ‘til the end, cause it’s family. And when it’s family, you forgive them for they know not what they do. When it’s family, they’re a mirror of the worse and best in you. When it’s family, when it’s family. Let me be all that I should be to the family.
I didn’t have a normal childhood. My father decided not to be a part of my life, and that was his own choice. I was also homeless for quite some time, along with my mother. I remember moving around a lot, finding safe places to stay for the night. It wasn’t the most ideal life, but it was mine and I was content with it. I had no problems living on the streets, just as long as my mother was right there with me. But my mother, she didn’t like the way we were living. She had wanted what every mother wants to give to her child. She wanted a roof over my head, a good education. She wanted to be able to put food on the table. She had realized that she wasn’t able to provide that for me. She had tried her absolute best to give me everything I had wanted, and she began to think that what she was giving me wasn’t good enough. She wanted a better life for me, even if I told her that I loved my life because she was in it. Apparently my reason wasn’t enough for her.
Twenty-seven years ago, I remember sitting on the ground playing with a truck set my mom was able to buy for me. It was one of the few things that I had treasured the most. I remember playing police chase as my mother was on the phone with someone. She was only a few feet away, so it wasn’t like I was eavesdropping or anything. But I automatically knew who she was talking to. A woman named Karen Chasez. My mother and Karen were really close, seeing that Karen was her foster parent at one time in her life. I can remember my mother having this serious look on her face, the kind where you knew something was wrong. She saw me staring at her and hung up the phone before asking me to come over to her. I held my police car tightly in my hand and walked up to her. I honestly didn’t know what was going on, and I had a slight feeling that I didn’t want to know at all. She grabbed a hold of my tiny little hand and asked me what I thought about being adopted. I didn’t say anything for a few minutes. I just stood there, a death grip on my toy car as my mother was staring into my eyes looking for some kind of answer. All I could do was shrug my shoulders and tell her okay. It didn’t completely shock me that she’d ask me that kind of question. She had been thinking about it for a while, and as much as I wanted to tell her no thank you...I knew she just wanted what was best for me. She trusted Karen and Roy with her life, and with mine as well. My mother had made the choice of separating herself from being the day-to-day mother in order to give me a better life that I had deserved. I didn’t hold any kind of resentment or hatred towards her for making that choice. I never thought for one second that her giving me up meant that she didn’t love me anymore. That thought never even crossed my mind. If anything, it meant that she loved me even more. It was a huge step for her to make all on her own, and I’m proud of her for that.
The Chasez family officially adopted me when I was five years old. I will admit that it was a little awkward the first few weeks, considering the fact that I wasn’t used to having so many people around. But they did everything they could to help me feel more at home. And I finally was home. I had gained two new amazing people as parents, one wonderful brother Tyler and a beautiful little sister Heather. Everything was finally falling into its rightful place, and I couldn’t have been any happier. I feel so blessed to have such an amazing family that supports me with everything I have chosen to do with my life. I’m so grateful to have the life I’m living, because if my mother hadn’t stepped up to the plate and admitted that she couldn’t give me the kind of life I needed…I don’t even know where I’d be right now. And that’s one scary thought if you ask me. I’d probably be stuck in some dead end job, surviving off of every paycheck. I wouldn’t be able to make music, or to share any of it with the world. I wouldn’t have met the guys, and I know my life wouldn’t be the same without those four. Just thinking about it gives me chills, so I’m going to stop right there.
My life couldn’t get any better. I have an amazing family, the best friends I could ask for, and one of the best jobs in the world. I honestly couldn’t ask for more. My life is extremely blessed, and my puzzle is complete. And I have both my mothers to thank for the last piece. |
I'm very fortunate to have the family I have. Being the oldest of three, I automatically gave myself the title of the overprotective big brother. I always made sure that the two little ones were always safe, that they're taken care of so my parents wouldn't have to worry so much. It took some of the stress off of my mom and dad, but most of the time all that stress was added to my own shoulders. And even more stress was added since I had to be away from my family for months at a time. I wasn't able to be there twenty-four seven to make sure they were headed in the right directions. But they assured me with phone calls and e-mails that everything was going okay, and that they both were still alive and kicking. And as the years passed by, I realized that I didn't have to be the big overprotective brother anymore. (Or as my sister Heather puts it, a huge thorn in her side.) I realized that they're both getting older and I don't have to worry about them as much as I used to. Tyler and Heather were becoming adults, becoming their own person. They didn't need me there to guide them down the right paths, they were doing just fine on their own. Which now brings me to what my update is actually supposed to be about, my little brother Tyler and his big day. No, not his birthday or anything of that matter. But something just as important, his graduation and his beginning to a brand new life. But first I just wanted to take the time to talk about him for a little bit before I get to all the sappy things I know I'm going to end up saying.
Me and my brother have always been close. Ever since I was adopted by Roy and Karen, Ty has taken me in with open arms. He wasn't angry or mad that out of nowhere this new kid was put into the mix. He never judged me or anything of that matter. Granted, it was a little weird at first. I did feel like I was being thrown into the Chasez family and getting two brand new parents and two brand new little siblings, it was honestly like Christmas to me. But after the awkwardness settled down, I became a part of the family like I was there from the start. Me and T Shaz were always together. Whether it be in the room we shared, playing football outside in the front yard, playing G.I. Joe's and ninjas in the backyard, me beating his ass into submission playing video games. You name it, we probably did it. And time sure seemed to fly by. Before I knew it I was extremely busy with the guys recording, touring, and traveling all over the world singing music we were passionate about. But just because I was away, that didn't mean me and my brother drifted apart. If anything, it brought us closer together. When I finally decided to move out to LA, he was right there with me with no hesitation. He was always there for me, as I was always there for him. There's nothing I wouldn't do for him, and he knows that. I got his back, and he has mine.
I got the phonecall from him one day, he told me he was graduating from law school. I pretty much got my lazy ass up from the couch and did the famous Chasez victory dance. My little brother graduated from Southwestern Law school a few days ago, and I couldn't have been more proud of him. He worked so hard to get where he is, and to finally see him walk in his cap and gown was an accomplishment of his I'll never forget. I never had the chance to go to college, so some of my dreams went along with him when he walked down the aisle and up those stairs to get his degree. When they announced his name, I went a little crazy and did a modified version of the Chasez victory dance from my seat. What can I say? I was so fucking proud of the little dude, I couldn't help it! He has amazed me since the first day we met, and I know he has way more tricks up his sleeve in the years to come. And I know me being the big brother and all, he looks up to me. But what he probably doesn't know, is that I look up to him. Sure, we've both had many accomplishments between the two of us. But mine are nothing compared to his! Getting straight A's, graduating high school, working his ass off, and finally graduating from law school. My little brother and best friend is one smart man, you know. I couldn't be more proud of him right now. And now all he has to do is pass that blasted California bar, so if I end up getting into some legal trouble sometime in the future he can bail my ass out. That's what brothers are for, right?